The Love Guru

Year of Release: 2008
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG-13 for for crude and sexual content throughout, language, some comic violence and drug references.
Director: Marco Schnabel
Starring: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Megan Good, Verne Troyer, Ben Kingsley, Jessica Simpson, Val Kilmer, Mariska Hargitay, Stephen Colbert

Date Of Review: July 2008

“The Love Guru”, now here’s a film script that should have stayed locked away in Mike Myers’ bottom desk-drawer. Maybe, he should have had a 20-digit security code attached to the drawer so that nobody would ever bust it out.  Instead the film and its terribly unfunny script have been unleashed to an unsuspecting audience via thousands of cinema screens worldwide. Surely there must have been somebody with enough courage to utter the words “BIG MISTAKE” before a frame of this mess was shot. Well I am sure that there are a few people out there now thinking “BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE”.  The ridiculous plot sees Myers, a self-help guru advising a fledgling Hockey star on how to patch up his marriage and win Hockey’s ultimate prize, “The Stanley Cup”. It seems that the superficial plot is nothing more than an excuse for Myers to dress up, sing a few songs, provide new employment for his old friend Mini-Me and of course star in a film about his favorite sport, Hockey. Unfortunately the film-going public is subjected to a shemozzle that truly shouldn’t have seen the light of day.  

Every year there is a comedy that leaks out into theatres and leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. Last year we had to sit through the atrocious mess of “Good Luck Chuck”, this year we are treated to “The Love Guru”, the latest vile offering of writer / star Mike Myers. Just think of every bad joke that didn’t work in the three “Austin Powers” films, put them all together for the 86 minutes that is “The Love Guru” and I think you’ll get the unfunny picture. Every joke in the movie is of the male appendage, bodily function and sexual innuendo variety. The bottom-line is “The Love Guru” is a rude, crude mess that can’t escape the smut it’s immersed in. I can’t begin to understand what Academy Award winner Ben “Gandhi” Kingsley must have been thinking when he signed up for his small role, maybe another Oscar, surely not, more likely a Raspberry award. Not even some cameo appearances from a few well-known celebrities can save this film from sinking. Jessica Simpson, Val Kilmer and “Law And Order’s” Mariska Hargitay pop up and its Hargitay’s name in particular, that becomes the brunt of an on-going “greeting” joke. Hargitay would have been better off asking them to drop the joke and hence the appearance.

The only aspects of “The Love Guru” that raise a genuine chuckle are some of the musical moments. The most notable ones being, the “9 To 5” introductory credit sequence, the Jessica Alba love song serenade in the middle of the film and the Bollywood style finale featuring the Steve Miller Band classic “The Joker”.  These 3 moments are the only elements that make the film remotely watchable and contribute to the film's 1 and ½ star rating.  Sadly, it seems that Jessica Alba is struggling to find a decent film role. With the back to back comedy disasters of “Good Luck Chuck” and “The Love Guru” she is quickly beginning to lose some of her star power. Even singer Justin Timberlake disgraces himself in a tasteless supporting role that consists of nothing more than a repetitive penis joke that always ends with a thud.

Mike Myers is a cheeky, almost-middle-aged man, full of school boy mischief. Yes, Myers is still in the school playground with his grubby friends and the question remains will he ever grow up? One thing is for sure, there is obviously a lot of effort gone into the making of this film but if Myers thought he was onto another box office bonanza of a franchise, well let’s just say…,there is something terribly wrong with his aim. This one hits the cubicle floor and has no chance of it ever reaching the can. It’s not going to be easy for Mike Myers to escape from this absolute disaster unless he stumbles onto a get out of jail free card before his next film role. Now, if you can force yourself to stick it out to the end credits and I know that’s going to be a tough ask….you might be there long enough to witness a rather funny outtake with Mini-Me…..which ironically is probably the best joke in the film.  

Cinema Synopsis:

In the comedy "The Love Guru", Pitka (Mike Myers in his first original character since Austin Powers) is an American who was left at the gates of an ashram in India as a child and raised by gurus.

He moves back to the U.S to seek fame and fortune in the world of self-help and spirituality. His unorthodox methods are put to the test when he must settle a rift between Toronto Maple Leafs star hockey player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) and his estranged wife.

After the split, Roanoke's wife starts dating L.A Kings star Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake) out of revenge, sending her husband into a major professional skid - to the horror of the teams' owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) and Coach Cherkov (Verne Troyer).

Pitka must return the couple to marital nirvana and get Roanoke back on his game so the team can break the 40-year-old "Bullard Curse" and win the Stanley Cup.

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If you like "The Love Guru" you should enjoy the "Austin Powers" Trilogy - Now Available on DVD:

Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997) [DVD]
Get ready to groove, baby, with Mike Myers as the psychedelic superspy and ladies' man who was the talk of Swingin' '60s London. Thawed out after 30 years in suspended animation, Austin has to learn about the '90s in a hurry if he's to defeat his arch-enemy, the also-defrosted Dr. Evil (Myers again), in this "shag-a-riffic" hit comedy. Elizabeth Hurley, Michael York, Mimi Rogers also star. 90 min. Standard and Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, French Dolby Digital stereo; Subtitles: English, French, Spanish; audio commentary by Myers; deleted scenes; alternate endings; theatrical trailer; biographies; filmographies.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) [DVD]
Mike Myers' "groovy" secret agent is back in this riotous sequel in which Austin loses his "mojo" to arch-nemesis Dr. Evil, who's out to terrorize the world with a "frickin' huge" laser cannon, Scottish assassin Fat Bastard and a tiny clone of himself. Will going back to 1969 London and teaming with sexy spy Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham) help Powers regain his mojo and save the day? With Robert Wagner, Rob Lowe, and Verne J. Troyer as "Mini-Me." 95 min. Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, Dolby Digital stereo; Subtitles: English; audio commentary by Myers, others; deleted scenes; music videos; "making of" documentary; DVD-ROM content; theatrical trailers; more.

Austin Powers In Goldmember (2002) [DVD]
The third outing for Mike Myers' toothy super-sleuth finds Powers time-hopping again--this time back to 1975, where the devilish Dr. Evil and lame-clad Dutch baddie Goldmember (both played by Myers) have taken Austin's estranged spy father, Sir Nigel Powers (Michael Caine). Joining Austin in his '70s odyssey is Foxxy Cleopatra, (Destiny's Child's Beyonce Knowles), a karate-chopping mama in the Pam Grier mold. With Robert Wagner, Seth Green, Verne Troyer as Mini-Me, and lots of surprise cameos. 94 min. Standard; Soundtracks: English DTS 6.1 ES, Dolby Digital 5.1 EX, Dolby Digital Surround; audio commentary; deleted scenes; alternate scenes; documentary; music videos; DVD-ROM content; theatrical trailers.

Austin Powers Collection [DVD]
Three-disc set includes "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" and "Austin Powers in Goldmember."  

If you like "The Love Guru" you should enjoy the "Wayne's World" Movies - Now Available on DVD:

Wayne's World (1992) [DVD]
Those public-access TV stars from Aurora, Illinois, Wayne (Mike Myers) and Garth (Dana Carvey), make the "schwing" to the big screen in this headbangin' hit comedy. Can the daffy duo stay out of the clutches of slimy media mogul Rob Lowe while searching for the babes of their dreams and hanging out with heroes like Alice Cooper? Tia Carrere, Lara Flynn Boyle co-star. 93 min. Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, Dolby Digital Surround, French Dolby Digital Surround; Subtitles: English; audio commentary; interviews; theatrical trailer.

Wayne's World 2 (1993) [DVD]
In this sublimely silly sequel, Wayne is summoned by the spirit of Jim Morrison to stage the world's ultimate rock concert, dubbed "Waynestock," and Garth is pursued by a "schwing"-ing blonde. The laughs are fast and furious, and there's spoofing of "Mission: Impossible," "Jurassic Park" and kung-fu films. With Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Christopher Walken and Kim Basinger. 94 min. Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, Dolby Digital Surround, French Dolby Digital Surround; Subtitles: English; audio commentary; interviews.

Wayne's World (1992)/Wayne's World 2 (1993) [DVD]
Two-disc set includes "Wayne's World" and "Wayne's World 2."

If you like "The Love Guru" you should enjoy "The Guru"
- Now Available on DVD:

The Guru (2003) [DVD]
Bollywood meets Hollywood in this engaging comedy starring Jimi Mistry as a cinema-obsessed Indian dance instructor who moves to New York to make it in American show business. His first film role turns out to be in an adult movie opposite porn starlet Heather Graham, but after meeting wealthy New Age devotee Marisa Tomei, Mistry poses as a guru to win her--and new legions of help-seeking followers--over. With Rob Morrow, Michael McKean. 95 min. Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, DTS 5.1, Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1, French Dolby Digital 5.1; Subtitles: Spanish, French; audio commentary; deleted scenes; photo gallery; theatrical trailers.

Mike Myers DVD Collection - Now Available:
Click here for Mike Myers Movies on DVD

Jessica Alba DVD Collection - Now Available:
Click here for Jessica Alba Movies on DVD

Jessica Simpson DVD Collection - Now Available:
Click here for Jessica Simpson Movies on DVD

Verne Troyer DVD Collection - Now Available:
Click here for Verne Troyer Movies on DVD

Justin Timberlake DVD Collection - Now Available:
Click here for Justin Timberlake Movies on DVD

Ben Kingsley DVD Collection - Now Available:
Click here for Ben Kingsley Movies on DVD

Val Kilmer DVD Collection - Now Available
Click here for Val Kilmer Movies on DVD

Pick Of The Flicks - Recommended Links:
Mike Myers at Hollywood Cult Movies
Jessica Alba at Hollywood Cult Movies
Jessica Alba at Hollywood Brunettes
Jessica Simpson at Hollywood Cult Movies

Funny Men Of Film at Hollywood Cult Movies
Comedy & Slapstick at Hollywood Teen Movies
Tony's Cult Movies, Blockbusters & Classics

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