The Hitcher

Year of Release: 2007
Genre: Teen / Thriller
Rating: R for strong bloody violence, terror and language.
Director: Dave Meyers
Starring: Sean Bean, Sophia Bush, Zachary Knighton, Neal McDonough

Date Of Review: February 2008

Do you remember when you were in school and the teacher sat you down for a lecture on “Stranger Danger”? Well the tagline of this film says it all, “Never Pick Up Strangers”. Maybe they should make “The Hitcher” part of the school curriculum and compulsory viewing for students? Then again, no, that wouldn’t work either, as the film is way too violent and ludicrously stupid to learn anything from. On the other hand, maybe you can take something away from it, and that is, how to make a really bad movie. “The Hitcher” is another piece of senseless demented violence, passing itself off as entertainment. When are some filmmakers going to realize? It’s the story and suspense that makes one of these films work, not the gallons of blood.

“The Hitcher” is a remake of the 1986 movie of the same name. In the original, the hitcher of the title was played by Dutch thespian Rutger Hauer, this time round Englishman Sean Bean takes over as John Ryder, the passenger from hell.  The Teen actor’s from the original, C. Thomas Howell (“The Outsiders”) and Jennifer Jason Leigh (“Fast Times At Ridgemont High”) have been replaced by relative newcomers, Zachary Knighton and Sophia Bush (“John Tucker Must Die”).  It’s only been 20 years since the original. Do we really need a remake? It’s not as if the original was a 5 star classic to begin with, plus, in 2003 they even made a sequel to the 1986 film. Hasn’t this formula been thrashed out too much? Enough already!  

“The Hitcher” is essentially a Spring Break road trip with a difference. Instead of the gratuitous crude humor, sex and nudity that you usually get in a Spring Break film, we are treated to plenty of blood curdling thrills and grisly in-your-face violence. Yes, this film is as sadistic as they come. It will leave a bitter aftertaste in your mouth that will make you wonder….Why did I even bother watching this garbage in the first place? On a positive note, the best thing I can say about it is probably its running time. Yes, at 83 minutes it’s much shorter than most films these days but that’s not saying much.  

The film starts out okay (surprisingly) and maintains edge of your seat suspense for about the first 25 minutes or so and then drops the ball. Unfortunately, as soon as the hitcher is picked up, any logic or reasoning is thrown out of the equation to make way for mindless violence and cheap grisly thrills. The filmmakers obviously have an affixation with destruction as this becomes evident from the endless scenes of cars exploding, crashing, flipping, rolling etc… As the film winds to a close it builds up from one nasty scene to another until it tops it all off by killing one of its two teenage leads in a gruesome fashion. Ultimately, “The Hitcher” is just a cheap, pointless teen slasher flick with very little going for it, unless mutilated body parts are your thing….but seriously who wants to see that anyway? Not me, that’s for sure. “The Hitcher” is a nasty little film with a nasty little ending.  It’s a crash course to nowhere. Ride at your own risk.

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1986 Oiginal & 2003 Sequel - Now Available on DVD:

The Hitcher (1986) [DVD]
A young man's seemingly harmless act of picking up a hitchhiker along a barren desert highway becomes a harrowing, blood-chilling odyssey of suspense and terror. Rutger Hauer is the psychotic "pick up" with a taste for blood; with C. Thomas Howell, Jennifer Jason Leigh. 98 min. Widescreen; Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, Dolby Digital Surround; Subtitles: English, French, Spanish; theatrical trailer; biographies.

The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting (2003) [DVD]
Just when you thought it was safe to offer a ride to a complete stranger comes an all-new, spine-tingling trip into terror, as vacationing couple C. Thomas Howell and Kari Wuhrer find themselves at the maniacal mercy of roadside psycho Jake Busey. 93 min. Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, Spanish Dolby Digital Surround, French Dolby Digital 5.1; Subtitles: Spanish, French.

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