Meet The Spartans

Year of Release: 2008
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG-13 for crude, sexual content, language and comic violence.
Director: Jason Freidberg and Aaron Seltzer
Starring: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Ken Davitian, Kevin Sorbo, Deidrich Bader, Method Man, Crista Flanagan

Date Of Review: February 2008

In an act of stupidity I went to see this film only to cure my curiosity as to how idiotic it would be. You guessed it, I was right! The film was idiotic, add to that moronic, tasteless, vile and dumb. After all it’s a spoof movie, you expect some of this and you get exactly what you paid your $10 bucks for with this one. However, I must say that this film does break new ground because you may find yourself laughing at how poor it is as opposed to how funny it is. Nevertheless there is a genuine fun factor spotting all the jokes and references. In my act of stupidity I also brought my father along for the ride. After seeing the 1963 version of “The 300 Spartans” starring Richard Egan my father vowed to see every Spartan film ever made, if it’s in a cinema even better, he will always chug a-long. However, I must say that he did miss “300” at the cinema’s last year and if you want to know the reason why, it’s simple, they left the word “Spartans” from the title. All jokes aside, he did catch up with “300” on Blu-ray DVD later on and I must say he still prefers the 1963 version. My act of stupidity I must admit goes even further, I didn’t just stop at taking my Dad along to see the movie, I don’t know how, but I also managed to coerce my mother into coming along as well. So what started out as an act of stupidity to cure my own curiosity turned into a major family outing or should I say major family disaster! What they were about was about to see with “Meet The Spartans” I don’t think they were as prepared for as me. Actually, my dad was okay with it and got a few laughs out of it. My mother on the other hand slept through part of it and what she did see of it she thought was stupid.  

Now onto the film, “Meet The Spartans” is a tongue-in-cheek parody of last year’s blockbuster sword and sandal epic “300”. However, don’t expect an epic in the sense of the word. With “Meet The Spartans”, everything is far from it, including the cardboard sets. Many believe that “Meet The Spartans” is the stupidest most clumsily conceived spoof movie ever made but believe me there are some that are much worse than this, “Epic Movie” included. Like all spoof movies before it, “Meet The Spartans” does exactly what we come to expect and that is, it takes jabs at anything and everything that it can extract a laugh from. In this case “Meet The Spartans” hones in on all the pop culture references from the past couple of years including movies, celebrities, TV shows and of course infamous scandals. As we know the backdrop is the Gerard Butler film “300” so we get lots of sets, spears, swords, togas and six-packs, throw into the mix some song and dance routines, the pit of death and a host of celebrity look-a-likes such as Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie….and the list goes on and on. It also spoofs countless movies such as “Stomp The Yard”, “You Got Served”, “Casino Royale”, “Shrek”, “Spider-Man 3”, “Rocky Balboa”, “Transformers”, just to name a few. As well as a ton of reality television shows such as “Dancing With The Stars”, “America’s Next Top Model”, “Deal Or No Deal” and of course the ratings winner “American Idol”, complete with judges and host Ryan Seacrest. Fast food also gets a big mention from Subway sandwiches to Krispy Crème Doughnuts. The “no mayo” Subway gag is an absolute classic, especially so for me, because I had just eaten one for lunch only minutes before going into the theatre. Pity there weren’t more gems like this one along the way.   

Now let’s get to the cast. With his role in this film, Ken Davitian, fresh from the movie Borat, sets new ground becoming the most nauseatingly stupid more character of all-time. It turns out he’s part man, part machine and by the end of the film astonishingly turns into a transformers robot. Kevin Sorbo of TV’s Hercules fame camps it up to the hilt and if he adds the much-needed beefcake then spoof movie regular Carmen Electra certainly adds the spice as the cheesecake. Electra even has a shameless scene where she is clad in nothing more than tomato slices covering her breasts and a slice of pizza that covers her you-know-what region.  The star of the film, Sean Maguire, is near dead-on-perfect with his impersonation of Gerard Butler’s bearded king Leonidas. Maguire seems to be relishing the opportunity to play the role and I am sure if they ever needed to do a sequel or should I say prequel to “300” he certainly would be the man to fit Butler’s shoes. “Meet The Spartans” is constantly hit and miss, hit and miss, hit and miss…but to be honest it’s more miss than hit. Maybe Leonidas should line up all the writers that gave him the worst jokes or the most cringe-worthy dialogue and he should kick them into the pit of death, now that would have been a nice moment on the end credits.      

Talking about the end credits, whatever you do don’t leave early. Some of the film’s best moments are hidden amongst the end credits. The “I Will Survive” song and dance number with all the cast members kicks off the end credits with a lively energy and does raise a chuckle, but it doesn’t just end there. After a minute or two of black credits more gags pop up and we are treated to a cavalcade of celebrity look-alikes from Ellen De Generes to Tom Cruise to Donald Trump to President George W. Bush to Dane Cook? Yes, someone is even impersonating Dane Cook! But it doesn’t end just there, if you are stupid enough to sit through another 5 or 6 minutes of black credits you will be treated to another little surprise, the Stallone look-alike is back, but not as Rocky, this time in the Rambo-guise and it doesn’t just end there. To top it off Rambo is dressed like Britney in that shameful MTV Music Award performance outfit and you will never guess what line he utters…. “When you’re pushed, killing’s as easy as dancing”! Shame, shame, shame but the ironic thing is Rambo opened the same day as “Meet The Spartans” in cinemas across America and you know what’s gotta hurt, the Stallone look-a-like and the makers of “Meet The Spartans” got the last laugh because their film opened in number 1 spot while “Rambo” came in at number 2.  

The bottom line is, films of this caliber don’t usually make it into cinemas these days so just trust me, go see “Meet The Spartans” in a cinema today, it will be an unforgettable experience. You’ll hate me for it but I am sure you’ll laugh about it later. “Meet The Spartans” gets 1 star for effort and that’s for the computer generated 6-packs (or maybe they were glued on, the baby’s six-pack is especially cute). In fact I will give it another star because it does do something rather unexpected for a spoof film. Instead of being just a disjointed mish-mash of skits and sketches it does actually try to mirror the original plotline of the film it’s spoofing. What I was amazed about is that it followed “The 300 Spartans” plotline right through to the very end of the film, almost note for note and blow for blow… now certainly that’s an achievement in itself, so 2 stars will do it. Maybe that may seem a little too generous for some, considering all the problems but the film nevertheless has a fun factor that you just can’t ignore.  Finally, we have to keep in mind that it’s not easy to make a spoof film.

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See The 2 Films That Inspired "Meet The Spartans"
Now Available on DVD:

The 300 Spartans (1962) [DVD]
Epic fight scenes highlight this historical actioner, set in 5th-century B.C. Greece, which depicts the heroic doomed stand of a band of fierce Spartan warriors against overwhelming Persian forces during the Battle of Thermopylae. Richard Egan, Ralph Richardson, Barry Coe, and Diane Baker star. AKA: "Lion of Sparta." 108 min. Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital stereo, Dolby Digital mono, Spanish Dolby Digital mono.

300 (Two-Disc Special Edition) (2007) [DVD]
Based on Frank Miller and Lynn Varley's graphic novel, this visually stunning epic seamlessly mixes live action with computer animation to present a fantasy-fueled re-imagining of the 5th-century B.C. Battle of Thermopylae. Led by the fearless King Leonidas (Gerard Butler), 300 Greek Spartan warriors attempted to guard their homeland from the ruthless giant Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and his seemingly unstoppable Persian army--redefining the meaning of heroism in the process. With Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham. 116 min. Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, French Dolby Digital 5.1, Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1; Subtitles: English (SDH), French, Spanish; audio commentary; deleted scenes; featurettes; photo gallery and more

Other Spoof Films - Now Available on DVD:

Date Movie (2006) [DVD]
"From two of the six writers of 'Scary Movie'" comes this skewering of the romantic comedy genre! Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan) does her best to shed her fat (suit) and escape the dreary life of a big, fat Greek restaurant waitress by landing the perfect guy (Adam Campbell) who knows what women want. Will they soon be calling the wedding planner? Will he say anything to win the girl of his dreams? Jennifer Coolidge, Fred Willard, Eddie Griffin also star. 83 min. Standard and Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, French Dolby Digital Surround, Spanish Dolby Digital Surround; Subtitles: English, Spanish; audio commentary; featurettes; theatrical trailers; deleted scenes; extended scenes.

Epic Movie (Unrated Version) (2007) [DVD]
If you loved "Scary Movie" and "Date Movie," check out this equally uproarious skewering of big-budgeted Hollywood spectacles. When orphan characters from flicks that are oddly reminiscent of "The Da Vinci Code," "Nacho Libre," "Snakes on a Plane," and "X-Men" are taken out of their respective blockbusters, they team up and encounter a Willy Wonka-esque candy maker before entering the not-so-magical world of "Gnarnia." Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jennifer Coolidge, and Crispin Glover star. Unrated version; 93 min. Widescreen; Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, French Dolby Digital Surround, Spanish Dolby Digital Surround; Subtitles: English, Spanish; alternate ending; audio commentary; featurettes; gag reel.

Carmen Electra & Kevin Sorbo DVD Collections:
Click here for Carmen Electra Movies on DVD
Click here for Kevin Sorbo Movies on DVD

Pick Of The Flicks - Recommended Links:
Carmen Electra at Hollywood Brunettes
Kevin Sorbo at Hollywood Cult Movies
The 300 Spartans at Hollywood Teen Movies

Muscle Men Of Peplum at Hollywood Cult Movies
Cinematic Tough Guys at Hollywood Cult Movies

Sword & Sandal Epics (Pre-1970)
Sword & Sandal Epics (Post-1970

Comedy & Slapstick at Hollywood Teen Movies
Action & Mayhem at Hollywood Teen Movies
Tony's Cult Movies, Blockbusters & Classics

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